Always (Always Series Book 1) Page 3

  “If you’re going to ask Sara, you better ask soon. You know she’s probably holding out for you, but she’s not going to go dateless, either,” Alex says, trying to give me one last push.

  “Fine! I’ll fucking ask Sara. Now get off my damn back about it,” I grit out as I start to walk away from them.

  “Where are you going? I just got here!” Ollie yells from behind me.

  “Away from you dickwads.”

  “Go ask Sara!” Alex yells.

  I give him the finger as I keep walking toward my truck. I hear the bunch of them laugh. Assholes.

  Once in my truck, I take a deep breath as I lean my head forward onto my steering wheel. I just want to hold her again. Josie. I want to smell her, touch her, feel her. I just want her.

  Without thinking, I pull my phone from my pocket.

  Me: I miss you already

  Nope, can’t send that. I delete the words that I want to say and instead send what I should.

  Me: The guys want me to go to prom. Should I?

  I sit for a solid five minutes waiting for a reply. I finally throw my phone in the passenger seat, start my truck and drive out of the parking lot. I’m at a stop light when I hear my phone ping that I have a message. I reach for it, nervous all of a sudden, to read her reply.

  Mrs. D: Yes. Get all dressed up, hang with your friends, dance with a pretty girl and make memories.

  Mrs. D: You only get to do it once. Enjoy it.

  Me: Let’s make our own prom. Go with me

  Mrs. D: No.

  Mrs. D: Go with someone your age.

  Me: Fuck that

  Me: I want a woman, not a girl

  Mrs. D: Stop, Travis

  Me: No

  I hear a horn blare behind me. Lost in my battle to win Josie, I look up to see the light has turned green. I wave an apologetic wave to the car behind me as I start to drive again.

  A smile pulls on my lips as I think about how I’m going to win her.

  Jealousy.

  Pure, old-fashioned jealousy.

  I make a U-turn to head back in the direction of the card shop in town because now, I have to ask a girl to prom. If I time everything just right, Josie will be driving by on her way home from work and see that I’m doing exactly what she said.

  Chapter 3

  Travis

  I just spent half my fucking paycheck on balloons. This chick better say yes. I’m standing outside Sara’s house holding enough balloons that I’m afraid I’ll float away soon. There are five large, pink (because that’s her favorite color) letter balloons behind me that spell out “PROM?” to go with the other twenty balloons I’m holding. To say I feel like an asshole standing here is an understatement.

  I look back one last time to make sure they haven’t blown away before I reach for the doorbell. I hear someone hurrying to answer from the other side of the door as I stand here with a fake smile on my face.

  “Aaaaawe!” Sara says as she opens the door, taking in my offer.

  “Sara, will you go to prom with me?” I manage to ask, even though it feels like acid coming out.

  “Yes! Of course, I’ll go with you. I thought you’d never ask,” she gushes as she flings her body into mine.

  I awkwardly get my body out from her grip. “Awesome. Well, here,” I say as I thrust the bouquet of balloons at her. “I’ll see you later then.” I turn to walk back to my truck, wanting to get away from this, her, everything in this moment.

  But when I turn, I connect eyes with someone who’s slowly coasting in their car, taking in the scene, just like I wanted her to. The eyes I connect with are the same deep blue pools I want to jump into and drown in. I give her a smirk and head nod, acknowledging that I see her.

  She nods back in understanding that I’m doing what she told me to do. I’m being a kid, as she so eloquently keeps calling me. And then she drives off down the street, with my heart and my pride. Because making Josie jealous already tastes bitter and wrong. This is what she wants though, right? This is what I’m supposed to do, right? I need to get lost, I need to get out of my damn head, and I need to stop thinking about Josie Duncan.

  “Hey!” I turn back around at the sound of Sara calling me, breaking me from my thoughts. “You wanna come in and hang out?”

  I mull over her question for a second, feeling wrong for spending time with this girl, but it’s not wrong because the woman I want doesn’t want me. In fact, she told me to do this, to move on.

  “Yeah, sure.” The second I step foot over the threshold of Sara’s house, I know the path I just chose was to build my own wall of protection.

  Sara’s parents are pretty flush with cash, and although their house isn’t a mansion, they have a full entertainment room filled with pinball machines, a pool table, darts, air hockey and a separate area with theater seats and a screen for movies.

  We play a few games before we settle into chairs and turn on a movie. Sara snuggles up into my arm. I don’t push her away like I probably should, but instead, I sling my arm around her.

  We’re about half an hour into the movie when I feel her hand make its way up my thigh. I feel her breath in my ear before I feel her tongue dart out and lick it. I’m a guy, so naturally, I feel my dick stir. I shift to adjust myself, which she mistakes as me wanting her in my lap. Before I know it, she’s straddling me, pushing into my growing dick and kissing my neck. I’m so confused by what led to this, but fuck if it doesn’t feel good to be wanted. And since I’m an asshole, I grab hold of her ass to push her into me harder, earning a moan from her. But when she tries to kiss me, I turn my head away.

  Sara slowly slides down out of my lap and lands on her knees in front of me, looking up with hooded eyes as she pops the button and pulls the zipper of my jeans open. Her eyes widen for a second when she pulls my dick out, making me give her a smug smirk, proud to live up to the rumors around school.

  I’m not going to lie. When she takes me to the back of her throat, it feels fucking amazing. But when I close my eyes, all I do is drown in Josie.

  This is a means to an end, because I am so pent up from Josie that I just need a release. But all I see is her. All I see is Josie. Always Josie.

  I tap Sara’s head, letting her know that I’m about to blow, because well, she’s good at being on her knees, and all I’m thinking about is how Josie felt under my hands. She keeps going, and when I feel that streak of lightning shoot up, she takes it all. Good, easy clean up before I get out of here.

  Sara sits back on her haunches, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and smiles at me, all proud and shit. What the hell is this girl expecting now? She starts to lean forward to kiss me, but I stand, tuck myself in and zip up my pants.

  “Well, thanks. See ya around,” I say as I walk away from her.

  See? I am an asshole.

  JOSIE

  I’m not even going to lie. Driving by and seeing Travis ask that girl to prom stirred things in me that shouldn’t have been stirring. And I can’t even be mad at him. He’s doing exactly what he should be doing. Exactly what I told him to do. He’s being a high school senior, taking part in a rite of passage. It’s good.

  But Sara Nelson?! I hear the rumors that go around town about her. I hear my son and his friends when they’re at my house talking about the girls from school.

  Ohmygosh, why am I acting like I’m back in high school? Why am I jealous? Ugh! I need to get my crap together. I cannot be having these thoughts. I cannot be caring that Travis is going to prom with Sara ‘Slutbag’ Nelson.

  * * *

  “Mom, can you help me with my cufflinks?”

  “Sure thing, baby.” I make my way upstairs to where my boy is getting dressed for his senior prom.

  How did I get to this point in life? It feels like yesterday Adam and I were dancing in his parents’ basement with a barely walking Ollie, making our own prom night. Those are sweet memories that I hold on to. Memories of when we were happy. When I was happy.

  “Mom,
don’t cry, geez,” Ollie says as he sees me watching him with tear-filled eyes before he pulls me in for a hug.

  “I’m not crying. You just look so handsome,” I sniff.

  “I am quite a stud.”

  “And so humble.” I laugh as I clip his cufflink into place. “There. Let me look at you again, stud.”

  He stands back and pops out his hip like a girl would with pouty duck lips and all. “Who can resist this?”

  “No one, I’m sure. Come on, I want to get some pictures of you and your sister before the rest of the guys get here.”

  We make our way downstairs where I take about a hundred pictures of Ollie by himself and another hundred of him and Tatum together before we hear a familiar voice enter the house.

  “Hey, dude. The limo guy is outside. I told him we were waiting on three others before we head to Sara’s to get the girls.” Travis says it all so nonchalant like, all while my mouth goes dry as I take him in. Travis in a tux is something I never thought I’d see, but damn, I’m glad I get to.

  “Awesome. My mom has been taking a million pictures of me. Thanks for the save, bro.” Ollie walks to Travis, and they do their bro shake.

  I’m still standing there unmoved, staring too hard at Travis when he looks over at me, our eyes locking. He gives me a knowing smirk. Busted.

  “You want a picture, Mom? It’ll last longer,” Tatum says from beside me, clearly also catching on.

  “Oh, yeah, sorry. Just… Wow, Trav.” I try to brush it off like I’m not completely turned on by him right now. “You clean up well, kid.” Kid? Who am I kidding? He looks anything but like a kid right now.

  “Thanks, Mrs. D,” he says, smiling bigger, knowing that he’s getting under my skin by calling me that, making my eyes roll.

  “Ollie, let me get a picture of just you two before the others get here.”

  “Please, let this be the last one,” he whines as he slings an arm around his best friend’s shoulder. The two of them are so handsome. It’s amazing how they have been thick as thieves for the past ten years. I’m so proud of both of them. “Are you seriously going to cry again, Mom?” he laughs at me.

  “No. I told you I’m not crying, you jerk,” I smack him in the arm with a smile and laugh of my own.

  “Would you mind if I got a picture with you?” Travis asks, looking at me with soft eyes of melting chocolate.

  “With me?” I glance down at the leggings with planets on them that I’m wearing and pull a weird face to let him know that I don’t look up to par next to him in a tux.

  “Please? You’ve been there for me more than my parents. I’d really like one with you, planet leggings and all,” he says with a smile.

  “Awe, how can you say no to that load of crap, Mom?”

  “Oh, fine,” I fake annoyance as I walk up to Travis and stand next to him. I put my arm behind his back and smile in the usual pose. Ollie takes the picture, but what happens next, I’m not expecting. Travis takes my hand, spins me and dips me backward. I can’t help the huge smile on my face as I look up into his equally big grin and get lost in his eyes. It feels like time stands still at that moment, just him and me, lost in each other.

  “Got it! That’s a print worthy one thanks to yours truly,” Ollie says, breaking us from our moment. Travis lifts me up so I can stand on my own feet, but I feel weak in the knees from being in his arms and feeling his body on mine again.

  He still hasn’t taken his eyes off me as Ollie hands him back his phone. “Thanks, man. Mrs. D, want me to send it to you?”

  “Please call me Josie, Travis. And yes, I’d love that,” I return to let him know that our moment wasn’t lost on me.

  “Oh snap! You got the Josie green-light. It’s official; you aren’t a kid anymore,” Ollie jokes, having no idea how true those words are and the full impact of them.

  “Definitely not a kid anymore,” Travis says, biting back the smile that’s playing on his beautiful lips as he continues to watch me.

  “No need to fear! Jude is here!” Jude Timmons announces, bursting through the front door with Alex and Brian, the other part of this crazy group of boys.

  “Don’t you all look nice!” I squeal a little too enthusiastically, trying to recover from Travis’s eyes on me. I make them line up and let me take a few pictures before they head for the limo to pick up their dates.

  “Are you following us to Sara’s house to take even more pictures?” Ollie asks, walking out of the house arm in arm with me.

  “No. You go have fun. Your old mom won’t embarrass you anymore.”

  “Mom, you are anything but old or embarrassing,” he says, squeezing my arm.

  “You’re a good son, Ollie. I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too. I take it this means you’re staying put?”

  “Yeah, I have your sister. It’s OK. Just ask someone to take a few on your phone to send me. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “Be safe. Be respectful. Have fun.”

  “Always,” he says, kissing me on the cheek.

  “Don’t worry, Mrs. D, I’ve got enough condoms for everyone.” Jude, the little shit that he is, is holding up a large strand of condoms with a proud smile.

  “Can I have one?” Tatum asked from behind me, scaring the crap out of me. I had no idea she had followed us outside.

  I throw my best mom glare at Jude, making him sink back against the limo. “No, Tates, those are just for adults. Why don’t you go inside and get our game ready to play,” I suggest, trying to get her innocent ears out of this conversation. Once she’s safely inside, I turn back to the snickering boys. “Seriously, boys, you treat those girls well tonight. And I don’t mean with your penis, Jude!”

  “Mom!” Ollie yells. “OK, now you’re embarrassing me,” I hear him add under his breath, making me chuckle.

  They all pile in the limo one by one, making my face hurt from smiling so much from all their excitement. Travis is the last to reach the door.

  “Have fun tonight, Trav,” I add before he dips down to get inside.

  “I’ll do my best,” he says, then leans into me and places a soft kiss near my ear whispering, “Night, Josie.” Goosebumps surface all over me, and it takes everything in me to not melt into him.

  Once I watch the limo disappear down the road I turn for the house. I promised Tatum a girls’ night. First, we have a game of Uno to finish that we’ve been playing since yesterday, then it’s painting, face masks, movies and ice cream. I love my special time with my girl, mostly because I know, before long, I’ll be seeing her off to her prom, and then I’ll be left alone. And that thought terrifies me.

  I walk inside just as my phone pings with a text. I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face when I see it’s from Travis. I stop and open the message, and what I see takes my breath away.

  It’s a picture. But not the one of us standing side by side. It’s from when he spun and dipped me backward. I lean against the wall as I zoom in to see his face. The way he’s smiling and looking down at me is unlike anything I’ve ever noticed before. He’s looking at me like I’m his whole world, but that isn’t what scares me the most.

  What scares me most is when I move to see my face, my expression is a mirror of his. You can see that we’re lost in each other, staring into one another’s eyes. We both have smiles that light up our faces, that reach those same eyes we’re drowning in. There’s a look of longing, love, want, and happiness there. We look like a couple. A couple that’s in love.

  I take one last look at the picture before I turn off my phone, close my eyes and take a second to wash the image out of my mind, because it’s an image, a thing that I can’t have. That I shouldn’t want. He is something that I can never have.

  I open my eyes and bring up the picture again. My finger presses over the “Are you sure you want to delete this image?” box. Am I? Am I sure I want to delete this? No. No, I’m not sure that I don’t want what this image represents, but I am sure that I ca
n’t have it. I tap “Yes” and delete the image from my phone.

  Chapter 4

  Travis

  From the second we picked up the girls, Sara has been all over me. It’s taking everything in me not to push her away. After that day at her house, I went home and showered and scrubbed my dick until it was raw. I felt nasty and guilty from being in her mouth. I’ve never felt that kind of guilt before, and I don’t ever want to again.

  Even though Josie and I aren’t “together”, I still felt like I was cheating on her. Like I was being sneaky, even though she pushed me to go to this stupid fucking prom. I don’t want Sara or any other girl, and I definitely don’t want them on me, touching me, pawing at me, kissing me. Fuck this shit.

  I tell the group that I need to take a leak, but really, I feel like I’m suffocating for air inside this gym full of streamers, balloons, posters and happy, dancing couples and groups of friends.

  Once outside, I lean against the brick wall, running my hands over my face. I blow out a frustrated breath, annoyed with this whole night.

  I pull out my phone and bring up the picture Ollie took earlier of Josie and me. He doesn’t even have a fucking clue that he captured it all. It’s the moment I realized that even with her pushing me away, she cares about me the same way I care about her. That she wants me the same way I want her. And that’s all I need to keep going, hoping that she’ll see it’s OK for us to be together.

  I pocket my phone and head back inside, knowing that I just have to get this night over with. I need to get through the next two months of school, past graduation and then, then she’ll see it’s OK, too.