Always (Always Series Book 1) Read online

  “I’ll be in Ollie’s room.” I bend and give her a kiss on the temple because I can’t help myself. “Night, Josie.”

  When I reach the stairs, I hear a faint, “Night, Travis.” I feel my smile grow because I know that I want this woman to be mine.

  And I’m going to show her that she wants me, too.

  Chapter 2

  Josie

  What in the hell did I just do?

  Travis just went upstairs after I basically let him get to third base, and then he kissed me on the temple and said goodnight like a guy in a damn romance novel. So not fair.

  I’m still frozen on the couch, horny as hell, and so confused by the want pulling at me to follow him upstairs to finish what we started.

  There is something certifiably wrong with me!

  He’s my son’s best friend.

  He’s still in high school.

  He’s fifteen years younger than me.

  I could be his mother.

  What in the actual fuck is wrong with me?!

  I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but it is far from working. I need to get off this couch. I need to go to my bed. I need to try to sleep. Yes. That’s exactly what I need to do.

  I give myself a head nod in approval of my plan and get up. I turn off the lamp and check the lock on the front door as I make my way to the stairs. What I don’t account for is the grunt I hear coming from the bathroom at the top of the stairs when I’m two steps from the top. Frozen for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, I just stand there like a moron, because hello Mrs. Awkward when he opens the door of the bathroom.

  I close my eyes, take a breath, shake my head in an attempt to rid my mind of the images running through my head, and release my white-knuckle grip on the handrail. I take off as fast as I can to get to my bedroom at the end of the hall but instead hit a brick wall.

  “I was, uh, I was going to bed,” I say, refusing to look him in the face, as he’s still holding both my arms, saving me from bouncing off his hard body and falling down the stairs. Ohmygosh, I’m so fucked… No! Wait. Not fucked, screwed. Damnit! Not that either! I’m messed up…

  “You alright, Josie?” Why does he have to keep saying my name? I swear, every time he does my lady bits quiver.

  “Uh huh.” I’m biting my lip so hard, I’m sure I’m going to start bleeding soon.

  “Will you look at me? Please?” I slowly bring my gaze up to meet his. “Hi,” he says, giving me a small smile, breaking through all my nerves.

  “Hi.” I smile back.

  “Look, I think you’re beautiful. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to continue what was happening downstairs.” I drop my gaze and feel my face heat with embarrassment. “Look at me, please? I need you to see that I’m being honest with you.” I lift my face to him again before he continues. “As good as it felt to be close to you, I don’t want to jeopardize everything you’ve done for me through the years, and I’ll never pressure you into anything.”

  “Aren’t I supposed to be the one to say that to you? I’m the adult here, the parent, Trav. I thought it was a dream, too, but fuck, it felt so good to be wanted, to be with a man.” I feel my cheeks heat from my admission to him. “Oh crap, why am I telling you that? I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. And honestly, I don’t think I do either, really. We both were asleep and didn’t know what was happening until, well, I was—”

  “Stop! Please don’t finish that sentence,” I say, throwing my hands over his mouth. I feel his smile against my palm, and it makes me mirror him with my own.

  He puts his hands over mine and kisses the inside of each of my palms before letting them go.

  “Travis, you have to stop kissing me.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because soon I’m not going to be able to pull away, and right now I need to.”

  “This.” He motions with his finger back and forth between us. “Is going to be great. You just have to let it.”

  “Trav, it’s not right.”

  “Like fuck it’s not.”

  “Language,” I scold before I realize what I’m doing. I feel my face fall the same time his does. Both of us realize that reality just caught up to our fantasy.

  “Good night, Travis,” I say as I walk away from him and toward my bedroom.

  I don’t sleep at all the rest of the night, tossing and turning and going over in my head every touch, every word, every minute I’ve spent with Travis in the past years, minutes, moments. I don’t think I’ve ever led him on or been inappropriate with him in any way. I’ve always just treated him like I would Ollie or Tatum.

  At least I think that’s true.

  I mean, Travis is, without a doubt, a very attractive guy, but that’s it. He slays hearts and turns heads wherever he goes. I’ve seen it, witnessed the girls stop and watch him. Hell, I’ve stopped and watched him, but it’s never been to ogle him and make him into a sexual object. It’s always been more of a proud-to-know-him and glad-he-ends-most-nights-under-my-roof kind of thing, rather than shacking up with random girls.

  Ohmygosh, what am I thinking?! Have I wanted to shack up with Travis?

  I don’t think so, but he is pretty to look at…

  * * *

  “Morning, sleepy head,” I say with a smile into my coffee, trying not to stare at his perfect abs and sexy bedhead. Oh, for the love of everything holy! I thought I had this under control. Why am I a terrible person?

  “Morning,” he replies with a smirk as he walks to the coffee pot and pours himself a cup.

  “You want me to make you breakfast? Pancakes, eggs, anything?”

  “Stop,” he says with a laugh as he leans against the counter taking another sip of coffee.

  “Stop what?”

  “Stop being weird. You don’t usually make breakfast like that, so why would you now? We didn’t even fuck.”

  “Travis! You cannot say stuff like that!”

  “Sorry,” he says as he dumps his cup out in the sink and turns to leave the kitchen. He stops and turns, looking angry. “Actually, you know what? I’m not sorry. This is stupid. We’re both adults. Nothing really happened last night, and even if it did, so what? I like you, Josie. I like you as so much more than the mom of my best friend. I understand that it’s weird for you or whatever, but I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want this. I want you. There, I said it. I want you, Josie. All of you. I want the real deal. Not just a quick fuck, either. I want the romance, the relationship, the damn dog and picket fence. I’ve wanted you for so long and now that I’ve had a taste of you, even if it was small, I don’t want to go backward. We can go slow, but damnit, I want you. I’m not a dumb kid anymore. I’m a man. A man that wants you, Josie Duncan, so get used to it.” He pauses, running his hands through his hair for a second before adding, “Shit! I just said all of that.”

  I can’t help the laugh that comes out when he stops himself, his chest heaving from talking so fast and with so much feeling, so much emotion.

  “Really? You laugh? Nice, Joes. I’m glad to see where we stand.” He turns to leave, misunderstanding my reaction, and I’m so conflicted. Do I give in to this? Whatever this is. Or do I let him go?

  I stand up to go after him. “Trav, wait!”

  “What?” I hear him quietly ask from the couch, sounding broken.

  I sit next to him and slowly put my hand in his. It’s like a thousand electric shocks going through me at once, and I know he feels it, too, because his eyes snap up to mine. I watch as a wash of emotions flow through them, constricting and dilating while they focus on me.

  TRAVIS

  I just word-vomited all the things I’ve been keeping secretly pent up for a long time. On one hand, it felt good to get it off my chest and finally tell her how I feel, but then she laughed. She fucking laughed at me. I could literally feel my heart shatter in my chest and start to crumble to the ground.

  But when she sits next
to me and puts her small hand into mine, the warmth and softness of her against my rough, callused exterior, I felt like all the pieces floated back together. Sitting here holding her hand, looking into those eyes that I could get lost in, I can’t help the magnetic pull I feel toward her.

  With her hand still in mine, I wrap it around her back and pull her into me, crashing my mouth to hers. She’s stiff and unmoving at first, but when I slip my other hand to her neck and lace my fingers into her hair, I feel her soften into me.

  I don’t push for more; I don’t try to slip in tongue. I just want to feel her against me. I want to feel her soft, pouty lips on mine. I want to breathe her in and eventually, I want to taste her, but not today. Not at this moment. This is the moment I make her see me as a man and not a boy.

  I release her hand from behind her back and almost immediately feel it brush up my bare chest, causing a trail of fire from her touch. It’s almost too much. When her hand goes to my cheek, I pull my lips apart from hers and lean into her palm

  “I can’t lose you,” I say with my eyes still closed, not wanting to see the look of torment in hers that I know will be there. The look of confusion, shame, guilt, and want.

  “You won’t lose me, ever.” I slowly open my eyes at her words, at her promise. But I’m met with a look I know. It’s the same one I saw on her face after that jockhole destroyed her. It’s her determination not to let anyone see the hurt and shame she feels and the need to be strong. I know what’s going to come out of her mouth next, and it’s the exact opposite of what I want to hear.

  “Don’t say it. I know what you’re going to say.” I cut her off before she can destroy me any more today.

  “Trav, I—”

  She’s cut short by the sound of keys in the door. We pull apart from one another faster than either of us would have liked. She rushes to the kitchen, and I flick on the TV real fast to whatever I can find before my best friend sees that I’m in love with his mom.

  “Shut up, Tatum! Carry your own bag in. I’m not your personal slave all the time,” I hear Ollie say to his little sister as they push through the door.

  “Mom says you have to help me because you’re the boy and I’m a girl and you need to be a gentleman.” I chuckle under my breath from the sass that comes out of that girl’s mouth. She is the little sister I never had, and I love her like my own.

  “Hey, Tates, I’ll help you if this dick won’t,” I say, coming to a stand and walking over to grab the bag she has dangling from her arms full of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals.

  “Language, Trav!” Josie yells as she walks out from the kitchen to kiss her kids hello.

  “Sorry, Mrs. D,” I say with a smug smile, knowing that it’s going to annoy the piss out of her. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at the look she shoots me. If looks could kill...

  “How're my babies?” she asks them as they take their shoes off and hang their jackets in the closet.

  “Good. Dad got me a new American Girl doll! Her name is Kaya. She might be my new favorite. I’m going to go up and play. Love you, Mom!” she yells as she runs up to her room.

  “Guess I’ll follow her up with these,” I say still holding her bag.

  “You stay here last night?” Ollie asks as he grabs his own bag following me upstairs.

  “Yeah, hope you don’t mind me crashing in your room.” Or kissing your mom.

  “Nah, man, you know I don’t care. Hope you didn’t get too bored with just my mom here last night,” he says, ending with a laugh. If he only knew.

  “Nope. It was fun. We just watched a bunch of movies and ordered pizza. No biggie.” I shrug. I only woke up with my finger inside her wet pussy, but whatever.

  And I’m going to hell, I’m sure of it, because now I’m sporting a semi remembering it. Great.

  “You gonna stay today, or you gotta work?”

  “I’m not working, but I don’t know what I’m doing.” Definitely not your mom. I sit on his bed, adjusting myself as I do, so my friend doesn’t see me tenting my shorts from thinking about his mom. This is bad. Maybe I do need to get out of here for the day. “You know, I might go see if some of the guys want to throw the ball around at the park or something. Want to?”

  “Maybe. I need to see how Mom is first. How was she last night?”

  Ollie is about the best son anyone could want. After his dad left, he really grew up. He stepped in to help his mom with Tatum and the house, but he also takes care of her. If he senses her having a bad day, he makes it his mission to keep her happy. It’s pretty amazing to watch them together. I only wish my mom gave even a fraction of the care for me as they do for each other.

  “She was a little wallowy when I first showed up, but she turned it around.” After I dry humped her ass. I shake my head at my thoughts. “Anyway, you want to go throw the ball around or what?”

  “You go. Text me later with who’s hanging. I’m gonna stay here for now.”

  “I’m going to go shower at home and then head out to Riverview Park. I’ll round up the usual suspects.”

  “You can shower here if you want, you know.”

  Yeah, I need to go home and jackoff. “I need clothes. It’s all good,” I say shrugging into my hoodie. “I’ll text you later.”

  “Later, dude.”

  I give him a salute as I make my way downstairs for my shoes before I head back home.

  “Oliver?”

  “No, it’s me. Ollie’s in his room unpacking.”

  “You’re leaving?” Josie says, almost sounding disappointed.

  “Yeah. I’m gonna go clean up and round up the boys to play some ball.”

  “He’s not going with you?” she asks with a head nod toward the stairs.

  “He said maybe later.” I stand, ready to leave. Not wanting to, but needing to. “Well, uh, I’ll see you later. Thanks for letting me stay last night.”

  “Travis…” I just nod in understanding as she trails off, not knowing what to say. My name sounds so different coming from her now.

  I turn and reach for the doorknob when I feel her at my back, her hand covering mine.

  “I know,” I say in understanding. Understanding that she isn’t going to give in to this. She’s built a wall now. I knew the second that Ollie and Tate got home, I missed my chance to get on her side of the wall. But it doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying.

  I feel her breath on my neck as she sighs in relief. I give her a brief kiss on the head and open the door, walking away from everything I want.

  * * *

  “What the hell, dude?” Alex, one of my teammates and friends, yells after I tackle him, hard, playing a game of touch football.

  “Sorry. I just got lost in my head. You alright?” I ask, giving him a hand to help him up.

  “Yeah, I’m good. You OK though? It’s not like you to be that vicious with my pretty face.”

  “We wouldn’t want to ruin that face for your prom pictures. Pretty sure Jay would have my balls if I did.”

  He laughs at the trueness of my statement about his girlfriend. They are a sure bet for prom king and queen. The stereotypical high school couple: star quarterback and head cheerleader. Jaylyn, or Jay as we call her, is a good girl and lots of fun, but damn, you do not want to be on her bad side.

  “Speaking of prom, you pick a date yet? Jay said she can hook you up with someone if you want.”

  “I don’t know if I’m going,” I say as I throw the ball at him and we walk back to where our other friends are.

  “Come on, dude, you have to. Jay and I are going, Timmons is bringing Teagan, Rogers is bringing Carian and I think your boy is bringing Autumn. You should ask Sara. I know she likes you; you’d for sure get laid.” He gives me a wink.

  “I can get laid just fine, asshole.”

  “Just trying to help you out. You seem wound tight today.”

  “Stop caring so much about my dick. It’s creepy.”

  “Hey, don’t you guys
think he should ask Sara to prom?” Alex yells at our friends when we reach them.

  “Dude, she’s hot. You should definitely ask her.” This coming from Jude Timmons, one of our linebackers, who has already slept with half the girls in the school.

  “Have you slept with her, fuckwad? Because I don’t like to double-dip where my friends have been.”

  “You’d be so lucky for me to pave your way.”

  “I don’t want your sloppy seconds.” Really, I just want Josie.

  “That’s true. With my dick being so much bigger, it’d be too bad when they go searching for yours. Hello? Trav’s dick? Are you there? I can’t feel you after Jude’s ginormous girth and size.” He’s in a fit of laughter after his mock girl’s voice. The rest of the guys join in.

  I give him the finger as I roll my eyes and shake my head at them. Idiots.

  “Dude, seriously though, you gotta come with us. We were all going to split a limo and stuff.”

  “What are you girls talking about over here in your little truth circle?” Ollie asks, walking up to us. Oddly enough, yes, we are sitting in a circle-like shape.

  “He says he doesn’t want to go to prom,” Alex says with a nod in my direction.

  “Trav, come on, man. You gotta go. It’ll be fun. If nothing else, you get to get laid, right?” Ollie says, punching my shoulder.

  “You guys don’t get it. I’m over high school. I just want it done. I don’t care about this shit. And you all need to stop worrying about where I park my cock.”

  “I get it. But it’s almost the end. Don’t you want to go out with a bang?”

  “And by bang, he means puss-ay!” Jude sing-songs.

  “You are all a bunch of assholes, you know that?”

  “Yes, buttercup, but we’re all your assholes,” Ollie says, batting his eyelashes next to me a little too close.

  “Get away from me!” I finally laugh, shoving him and making him stumble back a few steps.