Always (Always Series Book 1) Read online

  If I ever doubted that he loved me for me or that he wouldn’t want me now, it all disappeared at that moment. The moment our eyes connected, filled with love, lust, wonder, and adoration. It’s when I knew I’d never grow old of loving him.

  Travis sinks to his knees, making himself level with me. He pulls me into him, against him, spreading my legs wider apart where he sits between them. His full lips kiss mine, tasting and teasing at first. Then his tongue runs along the seam of my lips before pushing in. Our kiss deepens, and fireworks explode all over my body from the way he kisses me, owning me with his kiss alone.

  His mouth leaves my lips and travels down my neck while his hands rub my hips and back to my butt, pulling me into him harder. My hands are in his hair, my nails scratching down his head. His mouth covers my nipple – the only one I have – and sucks, his tongue swirling around it and flicking it. The sensation makes my hips grind into him by how good it feels to have his mouth on me again.

  But I freeze when I feel his lips kiss the other side of my chest. “Lie back, pretty girl.” His voice is gruff but soft. I feel myself start to tremble, but I lie back as he told me to. His lips leave a trail of kisses down my stomach, and when he reaches the band of my purple leggings, his hands pull them and my panties down, leaving me completely naked. I feel bare in more ways than one in front of him right now.

  He continues his path of kisses down the inside of my thigh and up the other, bending my knees up and resting my feet on the bed as he goes. “Open for me.” I do, baring all for him. I feel his hot breath skate over my sensitive spot when he looks up at me with that sexy smirk and says, “Relax, pretty girl.”

  My back arches and hands clench the sheets the instant his tongue touches me, flicking my swollen nub over and over. He kisses and sucks and laps me up and down, setting my body on fire. “Damn, I missed the taste of you,” he says into me, the vibrations of his voice sending me on edge.

  “Travis!” I yell, pulling his hair and pushing him into me more as I ride out the explosion that only Travis can make in me.

  I’m panting hard when I open my eyes again and look down at him, his chin resting on my pelvic bone, a grin on his glistening lips. “Welcome back, pretty girl.”

  He starts kissing me from my pelvis up. I stiffen again when he gets to my flat-chested side. He kisses along the scar there, making sure not to miss a spot of it. His fingers dance over my skin, touching me there for the first time. I feel a tear slide down my face as I stare at the ceiling. “Josie, look at me.” I turn to look at his beautiful face. “I love you. All of you. Every part of you. And every part of you is beautiful and perfect.” His lips kiss my marred skin once more. “Please don’t hide from me or ever be ashamed. This. Right here,” he says, placing his hand on my chest, “this means you lived. That you’re here with me. And because of that, it's my favorite part of you. Don’t ever be embarrassed by that.”

  A sob rips through me, but it’s not out of sadness; it’s out of pure love. This man, this beautiful man who loves me, loves me in a way I never knew possible. I cry tears that I held in that were of fear and insecurity, pain and remorse, embarrassment and judgment. “I don’t know how it’s possible to love you any more than I already did, but I do. You make me fall in love with you more and more every day,” I cry, pulling his face to mine to kiss him. He kisses my falling tears away.

  “I promise you, I fall just the same. And it never seems enough with you. I’m a selfish bastard, and I always want more. I crave you, Josie. Every part of you, I crave.”

  “You have me. All of me. Always, Travis. Always.”

  Travis kisses me again, and we make love like we never have before. Unyielding in our love for one another.

  TRAVIS

  “Are you nervous?” Ollie asks, standing next to me. We’re beside the pond waiting for my bride.

  Josie and I are getting married today. It’s been a long time coming. Even though she said yes to my proposal, Josie wouldn’t marry me until she’d been in remission for a year. I begrudgingly agreed to bide my time.

  We moved into our house this past year and made a home of our own. It was something I didn’t realize bothered me until we moved in. I didn’t like that it was always her house, a house she used to share with her ex. Sure, I lived there most of my life and was comfortable there and it felt like my home to a point, but it was still hers. Now, we have our house. A place where we’ve already started making our own memories. We made sure to christen every room the first weekend we had alone, including our bedroom in our new bed that we bought to go with the house.

  Ollie came home for the summer and stayed with us, which was kinda weird at first, but we all got over it and now it’s no big deal. We’ve all gotten past the uncomfortable parts that we weren’t sure about before and worked through them. Ollie and I are still best friends; I just don’t talk to him about my girl like I would before. It’s Alex I talk to about that now or Roger.

  And that’s who’s standing next to me today, on the happiest day of my life. Roger, who was always more of a father to me than my own. Alex, who’s been one of my best friends and like a brother since we were in peewee football. And Ollie, who still remains my best friend.

  I came to the realization years ago that family is who you love the most and who’s there for you when you need them. It doesn’t have to be your blood relations, thank God. I haven’t spoken to my father since the day he kicked me out after he beat on me like the weak fucker he is. I have no desire to see him again. My mother I’ve seen a handful of times, but she hasn’t changed and until she does, I keep her at arm’s length. But she is here today, and I’m grateful for that.

  I turn to look at Ollie. “Not even a little bit. I’ve been ready to marry her since I was nineteen.”

  He shakes his head and lets out a laugh. “I still can’t believe I never saw it coming.”

  I slap his shoulder, “I was just stealthy at sneaking into her room.”

  “Stop,” he says, raising his hand up, “or I’m going to puke in front of all these nice people.”

  I laugh at him. It’s so easy to tease and rile him up. But soon my laughter fades when I see Josie waiting to walk toward me. I take her in from her bare feet to her now shoulder-length hair that’s curled with a crown of flowers resting on her head. Our eyes meet, and our smiles grow in unison as she starts to walk my way. I don’t hear or see anything but her in that moment.

  On this perfect fall day, under an arch decorated with wildflowers by our pond, in front of our closest friends and family, I vow to love, honor and cherish her in sickness and health until death parts us. My thumb swipes away the tears falling down her cheek as I say my vows to her and her to me. And when the pastor says I can kiss my bride, I circle her in my arms and kiss her, never wanting to let her go and glad I never have to.

  “I love you,” I say, my lips ghosting hers with my words of affection.

  “I love you. I love you. I love you,” she repeats against me.

  The cheers and claps from around us finally pull us from our bubble. We spin to face everyone, hand in hand, united together forever.

  I scoop her up like I have so many times before and run down the center aisle of chairs. Laughter surrounds us as I run with her in my arms to my truck. “What are you doing?” Josie laughs into my neck.

  “Branding you to me. I can’t wait to make love to you as my wife,” I growl, setting her on the passenger seat.

  “Travis, we can’t do that in the parking lot with everyone right there!” she squeaks.

  I rest my forehead to hers and inhale her. “Why do we have to have a reception right now?”

  She chuckles, putting her hands on my face. “If you need a quick release with nothing fancy we can probably move to a more private parking lot; but if you want to take your time, we need to wait, lover boy.”

  “Fine,” I grit out, stepping back from her. “Let’s go get this over with.”

  I climb into my side of the truck
and slam the door shut. Josie’s still laughing at me and I know I’m being ridiculous, but is it so much to ask to want to be with my wife?

  We make our way home, where our friends and family will be joining us for a barbecue in the backyard. We wanted the day to be relaxed and small, but now I’m wishing we wouldn’t have done it at home, so I could take my wife upstairs and show her my love in other ways.

  * * *

  The last of our guests and the caterers have finally left. I shut the front door and make my way out back again. Josie is curled up in her favorite lounge chair in front of the fire that’s still burning, the glow of the flames making her look like the angel I know she is. I take a moment to appreciate her in her pure beauty. She’s removed the crown of flowers from her hair, and she’s pulling the extra pins from it, running her fingers through the curls that remain.

  I push off the doorway and walk to her, not able to wait any longer. “Hello, wife.”

  “Hello, husband,” she replies when I pull her hands to stand with me. I kiss her once, softly, just needing a quick taste of her.

  “Dance with me.”

  “But there isn’t any music,” she laughs.

  “We make our own music.”

  “Always,” she whispers, laying her cheek against my chest.

  We dance under the stars, with the fire crackling and its warm glow surrounding us.

  I sit down after a time and pull my wife down with me, pulling her lacey dress up so she can straddle my lap. My fingers snake into her silky hair and I pull her into me, taking her mouth with mine. Claiming every part of it as mine.

  There, under the blanket of the night sky, with the light of the dying fire, Josie and I make love as husband and wife. Our bodies in harmony with each other. The sounds of our lovemaking the only music we need as our hearts, bodies, and souls become one.

  I love this woman with everything in me.

  Chapter 21

  Josie

  “You look like shit,” Candace tells me when she brings a fresh cup of coffee into my office.

  “Wow. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I deadpan.

  “No, like seriously, are you feeling alright?”

  “I’m a little tired and haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but otherwise I feel fine. I’m probably catching one of the bugs going around.”

  Truth. I feel like shit. I threw up yesterday but had a meeting that I couldn’t miss. Since I wasn’t fevered, I chalked it up to something I ate. But when I couldn’t keep my breakfast down this morning, and now the smell of the coffee that Candace brought in is making me want to hurl again, I’m not so sure.

  “We don’t have anything pressing today if you want to go home.” She shrugs. “Just a suggestion.”

  I give her a nod as she leaves my office and make quick work to dump the bio-hazardous cup of joe that’s on my desk. When I barely make it to the trashcan in time to puke again, it hits me. I may not be sick.

  I quickly gather my things and leave the office, driving straight to the drugstore. I rush up to my bathroom once I get home and pull out the contents of the shopping bag. I’m racking my brain trying to remember when my last period was but can’t remember. After doing my business, I close the bathroom door and pace back and forth in my bedroom, biting my nails as I do. When the timer on my phone beeps, I rush into the bathroom again. “Ohmygosh,” I whisper to no one, feeling a smile spread across my face and tears prick in my eyes. I sit on the bed for a minute in disbelief.

  Travis and I haven’t used protection of any sort because the doctors said that with my age in conjunction with the cancer treatments, our chances of getting pregnant were slim. Since we weren’t opposed to having a baby but were fine if it didn’t happen, we decided to let fate take its course.

  I may seem insane for being excited seeing that I’m thirty-seven, a breast cancer survivor, and mother to a twenty-two and thirteen-year-old already; but I’m so thrilled right now to give Travis a baby. It’s been one of those things I was worried he’d regret over time, not having a baby of his own. And Travis’ baby is going to be gorgeous!

  I fall back on the bed and squeal with excitement. I have to tell him right now. I grab my phone and send him a text.

  Me: Hey baby

  Oh, even that makes me laugh to myself, I’m so giddy.

  Travis: Hey, pretty girl. How you doing today?

  Me: Good. Any chance you can come home?

  Travis: Now?

  Me: Well, yes.

  Travis: Babe, I’m under a hood right now. Literally.

  Travis: Is everything OK?

  Me: I wouldn’t mind you under my hood right now. If you know what I mean. *Wags eyebrows*

  Me: Everything is more than OK.

  Travis: Damn you, woman! Now I have a boner.

  Me: LOL! Come home and let me help you with that…

  Travis: Josie, I swear...

  Me: You know you want to.

  Travis: I’ll be home in twenty.

  I smile down at my phone. Yes! Do I know my man or what?

  I change out of my work clothes and into my favorite leggings with Bambi and Thumper on them with a black tunic. I brush my teeth and hair and make my way downstairs to wait for him. I’m about to go crazy with impatience when I hear his truck pull into the driveway.

  The second he’s in the door, I run at him and jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around him. He stumbles back a couple steps but holds me tight. He chuckles as he gains his balance and I pepper his face with kisses.

  “That’s one hell of a greeting, Joes, but you gotta warn a guy before you maul him like that.”

  “I’m just excited to see you,” I say, sliding down to my feet.

  “So, is this just a booty call or is there something going on? This isn’t like you. Me, yes, but not you.” Which is true. Travis is known to show up at my office for a quickie or get me to meet for lunch for a quick romp. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of crazy it took this long to get pregnant.

  “Maybe both.” My smile is so big, my cheeks are starting to hurt.

  “Pretty girl, you have to give me something here, because I’m very confused at the moment whether I should be stripping or waiting for someone to jump out and yell surprise.”

  I tilt my head to the side, debating if I should tell him to strip just for fun and because a naked Travis is a glorious Travis, but decide I shouldn’t torture him any longer. I shake the image from my head. “OK.” I take a deep breath. “We’re having a baby!”

  “What?” he asks with a look of confusion all over his face.

  “I’m pregnant. I took a test right before I texted you and another after to be sure. We’re having a baby, Trav.”

  It takes a minute, but the smile that slowly slides onto his beautiful face is all the reassurance I need. “We’re having a baby?”

  “We’re having a baby,” I nod, wrapping my arms around his middle.

  “We’re having a baby!” And then he kisses me hard and deep. I’m lost and intoxicated in him when he pulls away, feeling fuzzy from our kiss. “I love you so much, Josie Gellar.”

  “I love you, too, Travis Gellar.”

  “Holy shit! I’m gonna be a dad.” He looks down and puts his hand on my belly. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say right now.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. Just love us.”

  “Always.” And then he drops to his knees and pulls my shirt up and kisses my stomach, my eyes filling with tears at the sight of him.

  * * *

  We wanted to wait to tell people until after I saw the doctor and we passed the first trimester. It’s been hard not to say anything, especially since I was having morning sickness for the first two months. But today we’re telling Tatum and Ollie. Since Ollie came home for the weekend, it’s perfect timing.

  We’re getting ready to start a game of Uno, and I’m carrying in brownies and popcorn for us to snack on while we play. I look up at Travis, and he r
aises his eyebrow as if to ask when I’m going to tell them. I bite my lip as I sit down, knowing now is a good a time as any.

  “So, uh, before we start playing, Trav and I have something to tell you guys.” I’m looking only at Travis because now I’m nervous about how they’ll react. He gives me an encouraging smile and nod to keep going. “Well, the thing is, guys, we uh, we’re going to have a baby.” I smile big at Travis because, damn, I’m happy.

  “Ew!” Ollie yells with a look of disgust on his face.

  “Aren’t you too old to have more kids?” Tatum asks.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly the responses I was hoping for, but it’s better than it could have been, I guess.

  “Clearly, she’s not too old if she’s already pregnant, Tate,” Ollie says, throwing a piece of popcorn at her.

  She rolls her eyes at him. “When are you due?”

  “November twenty-third. I just entered my second trimester. We wanted to wait and make sure everything was OK and the baby was healthy.”

  “Do you know what it is yet?”

  I smile at her, glad she seems to be getting excited. “We don’t go for the ultrasound for a while still but haven’t decided if we want to find out or not.”

  “I hope it’s a girl to spoil,” she smiles.

  “What’s wrong with a boy?” Ollie finally pitches in.