Always (Always Series Book 1) Page 16

  I open my eyes to Travis smiling down on me. “Welcome back, pretty girl,” he says, sliding down my body and kissing me. “You doing alright? We can stop if you want.”

  “Are you kidding?” I ask, looking at him like he’s crazy. “I feel amazing. What’s next, my sex god?”

  “Sex god, huh?” he laughs.

  “Travis, the way you make my body sing is indescribable.”

  “Then let’s keep making beautiful music,” he says before he kisses me again, deep and sultry.

  He leans over to the bedside table and pulls a condom from the drawer. Biting the corner, he rips the package open and rolls it on. He kisses me again as he pushes inside me, making us both moan. Oh my holy, it feels good to have him inside me again. He starts pumping slow at first. I pull my knees up to allow him to go deeper, which he does. Then he turns my body slightly to the side, pushing one leg down, and thrusts in from an almost sideways position. The new angle feels deep and so good. I reach down to rub my nub when he reaches up to pinch my nipple. “Travis.” “So good.” “Fuck.” And “Yes.” All things I pant and yell as he pumps fast and hard. I feel another orgasm closing in when he pulls my bent leg over his shoulder, pushing me onto my back again. He thrusts hard, and the friction makes me clamp down around him, pulling him with me over the edge to bliss.

  We both stay unmoved, panting for a minute with him still inside me.

  I still have my eyes closed when I say, “Holy fuck,” with a wide smile.

  TRAVIS

  I’m the king of the world!

  Chapter 17

  Travis

  I’m holding Josie’s hand, waiting for her to wake up from surgery. She had a modified radical mastectomy today. They took her left breast, as well as the lymph nodes in her underarm (ALND). The surgeon said she did great and they believe they were able to get everything. They’ll send the lymph nodes on to be biopsied to see about the spread of the cancer. Fingers crossed everything comes back alright. The positive was that they were happy with how the tumor had shrunk from the chemo. She’ll still have two more cycles of chemo before radiation starts. And from what I’ve read, radiation is a whole other beast. But one thing at a time. Right now, we’re going to focus on getting her home tomorrow and healed from this surgery so we can keep moving forward.

  “Travis?” she whispers, sounding hoarse from the oxygen tube that was down her throat during surgery.

  I squeeze her hand. “I’m right here, pretty girl,” I answer, bringing her hand to my lips for a kiss.

  “How’d it go?”

  “They said good. They got everything,” I say, leaning over to kiss her forehead. “Just rest now.”

  And rest she does, just like she needed to.

  Josie recovered from surgery really well and was released to go home two days later. She’s such a rockstar. She amazes me every day with her strength.

  * * *

  “You cheated, Travis!” Tatum yells at me from across the table. We’re playing the standard family game, Uno.

  I can’t hold in my laughter at how mad she gets when she’s losing. “I’m not cheating, Tate. I just had that many ‘draw two’ cards.”

  “Whatever,” she says, rolling her eyes, making me laugh harder at her expense.

  “Uno,” Josie says triumphantly.

  “What?! No way! This is so unfair!” Tatum continues to complain.

  “You were so busy worrying about Trav, you didn’t see that I was almost out of cards,” Josie says smugly to her daughter. Damn, I love her. “Uno, Tate.”

  “You’re an Uno,” Tatum grumbles.

  “What did you say?” I ask with a lifted brow.

  “I said she’s an Uno.” There’s a defiance and fierceness about this girl that makes me want to smack her and give her a high-five all at once.

  “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “She only has one boob – Uno-boob. She’s an Uno.” She shrugs her shoulder like it’s not a big deal that she just made a dig at her mom’s expense.

  “Tatum,” I warn. But then I hear Josie start to giggle next to me. I turn to her, shocked by her reaction to her daughter’s words. “You think that’s funny?”

  “Kind of. And you can’t say she isn’t right. I do only have one boob,” she says around more laughter. “Uno,” she adds, holding up one finger to make her point.

  Now, both of them are laughing and wiping tears from their eyes. I scrub my hands down my face, unsure where to go from here.

  I’m glad Josie is able to laugh at this, but I know she’s still having a hard time with it all. Since surgery, she won’t let me see her chest without it being covered. I hate that she’s self-conscious about it, and I hate that she feels uncomfortable with me. In time, I’ll make sure she knows how little I care about that. She has nothing to hide from me.

  “You both are ridiculous,” I say, standing from the table. “I need ice cream. Who’s in?”

  “I would but I’m waiting for Megan to call me after she posts her new video,” Tatum says, checking her phone for the hundredth time in the past fifteen minutes. What is it with twelve-year-old girls and their phones? It’s not like they’re dating. I’ll never understand Musically and the appeal, but apparently, it’s life and death when you get hearts or thumbs up or something like that. I don’t know.

  “What about you, pretty girl? You up for some ice cream?”

  “That actually sounds really nice. I haven’t left the house for a while.”

  “Then let’s go.”

  I run through the drive-thru at Dairy Queen, and we each get our usual cool treats. I take a turn toward a place I haven’t been to in years and see the confusion on Josie’s face. “Trust me,” I say, kissing her hand that rests in mine. A few minutes later, I pull into the park that I brought Josie to years ago before we imploded without getting much of a start. I haven’t been back since that day. It hurt too much to think of what I had lost that day. We both get out of the car with our melting ice cream and sit on the bench where we sat last time we were here.

  “I came here the day I found out,” Josie says, looking out over the water as the sun is beginning to go down.

  “You came here when you found out what?”

  “That I had cancer. I drove here without thinking about it. But I know why I ended up here. It was where I last felt you and your warmth. And at that moment, when I didn’t know what my future would look like or if I’d even have one, I just wanted to feel you. To feel safe.”

  “I make you feel safe?”

  “You make me feel lots of things, but yes,” she answers, blushing when she looks up at me.

  I pull her into me and kiss her temple. If she needs to feel my warmth and protection, I’ll make sure she has it anytime she wants it and then some.

  “It’s kinda ironic. You came here to feel me, and I stayed away so I wouldn’t feel you.”

  “You haven’t been here since…” Her question hangs in the quiet around us.

  “No. It was too hard to remember what I’d lost and how empty I felt without you. I never stopped loving you, Joes.”

  We sit in calm and comfortable silence, her leaning into my warmth and me breathing her in. “I never stopped loving you, either.”

  JOSIE

  Travis stands and turns to me with an outstretched hand. “Dance with me.” He pulls me to stand up against him. His hands wrap around my waist, and mine go around his neck. We begin to sway to our own music. The music of our love. The rhythm of our heartbeats. The tune of nature around us, playing its own concert. It’s beautiful how we fit and move together as one.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  I snort a laugh at his words. I can’t help it. I’m a mess. I’ve lost a lot of weight, have purple bags under my eyes, have baby fuzz starting to grow back on my head, I’m missing a boob, and I’m wearing leggings with hula girls on them with one of his hoodies that comes down to my knees. “I don’t know how you can say that right now. Look at me, Trav.
”

  “I am looking, Joes. You’re perfect.” He bends and takes my mouth in his, kissing me softly and captivatingly slow.

  I try to hide the tear that escapes before he sees it when he pulls back. “What are you crying for, pretty girl?”

  “I don’t know why you love me or why you think I’m pretty. I don’t even know how you managed to make me feel beautiful right now, but you did. You always do.”

  “You’re it for me, Joes. There’s no one else but you. Ever. I love you in all your forms, and you are never anything less than stunning. You take my breath away.”

  I lean my head into his chest, breathing him in. I’m trying to tamp down my emotions. I don’t want to cry; I cry enough as it is. When I tilt my head up, I melt into him as he looks at me the way only Travis can.

  “Move in with us. With me.”

  “I thought I already had,” he says with a smirk.

  I smack his chest before he grabs my hand. He spins me and dips me backward, and when he pulls me up, he catches my eyes again. “I’d love to move in. Officially.” He kisses me again, this time longer, his tongue sweeping in and tasting me.

  We dance and kiss while we watch the sunset on this magical spring night. The vibrant colors surround us, reflecting off the water. It’s beautiful. It’s perfect.

  * * *

  At this point, I’m not sure how much more my body can handle. I started external beam radiation four weeks ago, during my last two cycles of chemo. So, on top of the usual joys of chemo, my skin is red and itchy and swollen. I developed lymphedema from radiation after surgery, meaning that I have fluid buildup in my arm that’s made it swollen, tight and painful. I wear a compression garment to help, but it’s still no picnic. Plus, who wants a sausage arm? Thankfully, it’s starting to go away.

  But I can do this. Chemo is officially done. Woohoo! And I only have two more weeks of radiation. Then I can start to move forward and on with my life. Right? Because the cancer will be gone. Right?

  I’ve put on this tough chick exterior the past months, but now that I’m at the end of treatment, I find myself more scared than when I started. Which is stupid because I should be happy that I’ll get to feel better and more like myself again. But the fear of my cancer not being all the way gone or coming back terrifies me.

  Dr. Swartz, at my last checkup, said that the biopsies had come back clear, that the cancer hadn’t spread and they do believe they got everything out during surgery, but I’m still scared. All it takes is one cell to grow and invade my body all over again. One.

  But on a positive note, Travis moving in with Tatum and me has been amazing. He was right when he said he thought he already had, because it did feel like he already had. I’d be so lost without him. Not just his love and support, but his help with everything has been overwhelming. He’s been my rock to cling to during this storm.

  “Mom?” I hear Ollie yell, walking through the kitchen. It’s his birthday weekend, and he came home for a visit.

  “I’m out back.”

  “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

  “Hardly. It feels nice. Come join me and give me a hug.” He walks over to where I’m seated in a lounge chair on the patio, leaning down to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

  “Where’s the rest of the crew?”

  “Tatum is at Megan’s for the night, but you’ll see her tomorrow. Travis is at the garage but should be home soon.”

  “That’s still weird. I can’t get used to the fact that he lives here now.”

  “Ollie, he’s practically lived here for your whole life.”

  “Yeah, but he didn’t share your bed before,” he grumbles.

  “Oh, stop it,” I laugh. “You know you’re happy for us.”

  “Whoa. Let’s not get carried away,” he says with a hand up to keep me from saying more.

  “Get carried away with what?” Travis asks, walking out to join us. He walks straight to me, placing a kiss, short and sweet, on my lips.

  “Ollie won’t admit that he’s happy for us and that you’re here,” I say smugly toward my son.

  “You two are the worst now. You both always gave me crap before, but now you team up against me. I don’t like it.”

  “Stop being a pussy, dude,” Travis chuckles, sitting at the end of the lounger I’m on. He pulls my feet into his lap and starts to rub them. My head falls back and my eyes close from how good it feels. This man, he worked all day, but comes home and rubs my feet.

  “Anyway! What’s the plan for tonight? Movie and chill?”

  “Nope,” I open my eyes with a smile in Ollie’s direction. “Bonfire with the old gang.”

  “What? No. You aren’t up to that, are you?”

  “Oliver, it’s your birthday, your twenty-first at that, and you decided to spend it at home to be with me. The least I can do is this.”

  “Who’s coming?”

  “The whole crew. The girls, too. Well, except for Sara,” Travis answers and pauses to look at me, “For obvious reasons.”

  “You could have still invited her, you know.”

  “No way. I couldn’t stand her then, and I definitely don’t want to put up with her shit tonight.”

  “But Autumn is coming?” Ollie asks.

  “You still sweet on her?” Ollie’s blush at Trav’s question is answer enough.

  “I haven’t talked to her much since I left for school, though.”

  “Well, they’ll all be here soon.” As if they could hear my words, the doorbell rings.

  Ollie makes his way to the door and lets his friends in. Hearing his easy laughter and conversation with them makes me smile. I’m glad we decided to do this for him.

  “How are you feeling today, pretty girl?”

  “Tired, but I’m OK. How was work?”

  “Long,” he says, helping me stand. “Missed you. It was the longest day I’ve worked for a while.”

  “I missed you, too,” I smile, giving him a quick peck. “I’m going to say hi and then make myself scarce upstairs.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re going to stay with us. If you get too tired, I’ll come in with you.”

  “You don’t have to do that. They’re your friends, too, and you haven’t seen them much, either.”

  “Josie, just stay with me. Please?” Who can say no to that?

  “OK, as long as Ollie doesn’t mind.”

  “Mind what?” Ollie asks, walking back outside.

  “You don’t mind if your mom stays and hangs with us, do you? At least for a little bit until she’s tired?”

  “I’d mind more if she left my birthday party. Talk about childhood scars, Mom,” he says sarcastically with a hand over his heart.

  “You two are both ridiculous,” I laugh. “Fine. But I at least need to get up and order the pizza.”

  “Already done. I ordered it when I left the garage,” Travis says. “Relax.”

  “Thank you,” I smile at him. Gosh, I love him. He takes such good care of me.

  As every one of the boys’ friends shuffles out back, I hug and greet them all. Each of them is gentle in their embrace, treating me like I’ll break, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Ollie and Trav have the bonfire going by the time we’ve all finished our greetings.

  Travis pulls me back to the lounger I was occupying earlier, but he sits and pulls me to sit between his legs, wrapping his arms around me. His warmth and woodsy smell surrounding me. I close my eyes and hum for a second. When I open my eyes again, we have eight sets of eyes on us.

  “Ohmygosh…” It comes out like a hushed rush of words and air. I can feel my cheeks heat under everyone’s stare. I forgot that even though Travis and I have been honest about our relationship, not many actually see us together like this.

  Chapter 18

  Travis

  “Stop staring,” I laugh, trying to cut the tension in the air. Josie doesn’t need this shit, and I sense how tense she’s getting feeling uncomfortable. “Way to ma
ke it awkward as fuck guys.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just… It’s… Uh… Yeah,” Jude says from across the fire.

  “Wow, I can see you still kill it with the words,” I chuckle.

  “Dude, I’ve just seen you laugh and smile more in the past five minutes than I have in the past few years,” Alex says, and I know he means it. I am happy. I have no reason not to smile anymore.

  “Yeah, this pretty girl brings it out of me,” I say, squeezing Josie against me and kissing her on the neck. I probably shouldn’t have since we were already getting all the stares, but my give-a-shit meter is broken. I love this girl, and I’m not afraid of what my friends or anyone else think.

  “I guess now isn’t the time to ask if Mrs. D is available then, huh?” Timmons asks.

  “Watch it, dude. You remember what happened last time we were all here like this,” I warn.

  “Pot! I have pot,” Josie blurts out.

  “Are you… Did you smoke some recently?” Ollie ask his mom with a teasing smile.

  Josie blushes another shade of red, and I can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of me. She turns and buries her flaming face in my chest while laughter erupts all around us. She tilts her head up and looks at me with bright blue eyes, and I watch as her smile reaches them.

  “Is it OK if I offer to share?” she whispers to me. I shrug. I have no idea who’s into that anymore, but it doesn’t bother me if she wants to share.

  She turns to face everyone again. “Let me try that again. First, call me Josie. All of you. Well, except you.” She points to Ollie before continuing. “Second, I have a leftover stash if you’re interested. I got it to help with the pain from chemo, but now that that’s done, it’s just for fun,” she chuckles.

  Ollie’s face is priceless. Him watching his mom date his best friend brings a lot of fun at his expense, but this tops it all. His face, when his mom offers his friends weed, is absolute gold.